taken from this site

A list of changes I’ve made

Sometimes I just get to the point where I realize that things aren’t working the way I’m doing them and I must do something different to see results. So here’s a list of things I’ve changed significantly in the last year:

  • Self-Relationship
    • Positive Self-Talk (this seems silly but its very helpful)
    • Minimizing self-punishment
    • Acknowledge what I really want
    • Exercising Regularly
    • Floss Regularly
  • Food (For some of these, I will occasionally partake, depending on the situation and whether or not I am concerned it will trigger my additive behaviors to return)
    • No more cream in my coffee
    • No more soda, diet or regular
    • No more canned food
    • No more ‘white’ bread
    • Cooking dinner more often than going out to dinner
  • Relationships
    • No more hierarchies in my close-knit relationships
    • Distinguishing the difference between people in my life and how they relate to me and what kind of energy I’ll put into our relationships
    • Be very grateful
  • Free-lance Work
    • No more freebies (still working on this, actually)
    • Minimize ‘exchanges’ and bartering
    • Understand the value I bring to an hour
    • Be very grateful
  • Professional Career
    • Schedule Everything
    • Document Everything
    • Follow-up all of the time
    • Advocate for myself
    • Be very grateful

Things I’m still working on in the present time:

  • Personal Finances
  • High-protein; low carbs (this is the darndest thing)

I think its important to acknowledge how far I’ve come. Six years ago or so, when I was running low on money, I would flee to the store and purchase boxes of Mac N Cheese, pouches of Ramen Noodles and some canned veggies or soups. Just the other day I was low on funds and the conveyor belt held bananas, broccoli and eggs. I’ve come so far from my previous way of life and previous thought-process that it’s sometimes unbelievable. It was hard work, and I’m happy with the direction I’m going.

Any lists you’d like to share about what you’ve accomplished or are working on?

Image taken from here

Museum by Ani-Bee, on Flickr

Double-Vision

So, recently I discovered that I have double-vision. I don’t remember the name for it right now because that’s really not what this article is about. But, for the record, my entire life I have always seen double about a foot to 18 inches from me. Further than 18 inches and my eyes can adjust just fine and my sense of depth perception is restored and normal. It seems like my brain works a little backwards. If I stare at a stereoscopic image, (magic poster) I have a hard time adjusting to it to see the 3-D-ness of it. When I was younger, I was stubborn, and would stare at those damn posters for HOURS just to make the magic happen. But I recently discovered that if I help my eyes to stay seperate, then my brain will quickly bring the 3-D image into place and I can easily see the beautiful Magic portrait.

Well, I read an article on nbcnews today that talked about a recently discovered painting that is a ‘twin’ painting to the Mona Lisa. The article postulates that it is possible that this painting was also done by DaVinci as an effort to create a stereoscopic image. The two images are different in color and almost different in expression, which is one of the things that makes this Mona Lisa painting so exuisite to being with.

So, I went to work to see if I could verify this was true. How do you verify that two pictures are, indeed, stereoscopic if they are sitting there on the screen and not overlapping, without the cool polarized or red/blue glasses, you may ask?

With my super-powers, its easy. I needed to find an object to cover my nose area so that the left eye could not see what the right eye could see and the right eye could not see what the left eye could see. Interestingly, my iPhone was the perfect sort of tool for this. Once I am able to fully block out each side, my brain knows to pull the image together and I can now see a single image; when up close, anyway. Like so:
Photo on 5-2-14 at 6.21 PM

So, I did just that with the Mona Lisa Comparison Photos:

CARBON & HESSLINGER. DA VINCI’S MONA LISA ENTERING THE NEXT DIMENSION. PERCEPTION, 42(8)
CARBON & HESSLINGER. DA VINCI’S MONA LISA ENTERING THE NEXT DIMENSION. PERCEPTION, 42(8)

And to my surprise, I have to say that this is hands-down the most beautiful painting that I have ever laid eyes on. It is, indeed, a stereoscopic image. Right down to the clouds being puffy and the mountain being jagged and the hands being curved and the smile being deep and playful.

You should try it and tell me what you think.

Minestrone Soup

A Whole New World

Alright. I admit it. I like food. I love food. No… I ADORE food. There. I said it. It’s taken me about 34 years to admit that food is my best friend. It rarely lets me down. I feel comforted by it frequently and, it keeps me living. Score.

See, I grew up in Poorville, Poortucky and the types of food I was exposed to as a youngster was… well, it was not what I eat today. There was no such thing as ‘Organic’ and fresh salads were a commodity. Most of the things I ate either came in cardboard or tin. And of course, most of the veggies that I did attempt were totally disgusting, even though that’s just about the only thing I was ever offered by way of … gross things.

Through my mid-twenties, I started to go down this journey where I attempted to examine my relationship with food and how it held me back and contributed to my obesity. That takes a lot of work, but what takes more work than that is to defy that journey and pretend like it doesn’t exist.

So, I’ve finally arrived! My journey is now beginning because I made a wonderful realization… recognizing my relationship with food seemed to mean, at the time, that I would need to make food my enemy. I was SO SO WRONG! What I’ve now discovered is that the best route I can possibly go is to make it my best friend.

Okay, not to sound like a total loser who doesn’t have any friends, and because hyperbole is my cousin, I realized that this might sound odd for some people. And maybe not-so-odd for others.

So, what has caused my hallelujah moment? By the way, I really wish that “hallelujah” was a palindrome. That would make it an even better moment. The day that I first laid eyes on the website for Blue Apron. No, this is not a sponsored post. I’m really very serious about this.

One of my biggest excuses for eating out all of the time was that I just simply never had time to grocery shop and meal planning just seemed like a pain in the ass. These were pretty tight excuses for me. But, this website blew my two major excuses out of the water. I felt as if I had really no logical choice but to sign up and see what would happen.

As it turns out, those excuses really were the two big things stopping me from eating at home more often. Because, boy did I take to it. I’ve now been a member for several months and I get sad on days when I can’t get home in time to cook my dinner. I’m a really in love with making these delicious and healthy meals for myself.

Here are some examples of meals I’ve made.

I don’t always take pictures of my food, but when I do… I try to make them EPIC pictures. :)

So, I always have this wonderful intent to blog more often. So maybe you’ll read more posts about food. Life-sustaining source and all. Good night folks. I’m here all week.

Freedom for All

While the majority of my posts are advocating for LGBT equality or for a change in the way children are treated, my goal is the same amongst all humans. No human should endure atrocities from their government. All of us should be free and equal.

On this vein there are so many different artifacts I could show you, but I will pick the latest one that I saw. So I share it with you, and in turn, you share it with others, and so on. Here is the video called “I Am A Ukranian:”

Sunlight by David Stokes

Sing it Loud!

Do not cast a shadow on someone else’s sunlight. Rather, help it shine brighter.
~Tabby Chapman

On my journey through this world, I sometimes like to imagine, in parables or metaphors, what this life is like.

There’s this game I played at a fair, once. It involves a twisted up thick wire that conducts electricity and a wand around it that the player must move through the twists and turns without touching the wire. If you do, it closes a circuit and causes an audible buzz to occur. It takes a very steady hand. The first few times I played it, I often found myself holding my breath with a tinge of fear that I might make the wire go “BZZZZ.” I discovered that the more nervous and calculated I was, the harder it was to keep my hand steady and the higher it made my chances of hitting the wire.

To apply this story to my life, I’ve had moments and situations where I felt my relationships with others were so close to ringing that BZZZ sound that I treaded cautiously and carefully, hoping that my unsteady hand wouldn’t betray me. But in the end, it is my caution that triggers my unsteady hand, and I ended up creating the demise of my situation one way or another.

I’m learning from this! I’m learning to evaluate without fear of rejection or isolation. Otherwise, being too cautious or lacking solid judgement of character has had too many consequences for me that I’d rather not endure again. Instead, I’m looking for the solid middle ground… being secure in myself enough to be able to say that I won’t require anyone to be any different around me but I will choose to remove myself if the situation calls for it, or the friendship itself.

What I’m working on is evaluating every situation and every relationship based on how we reciprocate and how our energies mesh together. I am working on trusting my internal instincts and seeing all the facts I can see and making evaluations based on those, rather than tricking myself into believing that the facts are inconsequential and I am immune to another person’s slug slime.

I am also working on loving deeply, no matter the relationship I have. I’m working on being in the present moment, having a deep awe and love for the human beings I am with, honoring their experiences and their journey through life as much as I honor my own.

In the past, I might have judged someone for their behaviors or possibly even attempted to force them to stop their behaviors because it triggered too much for me and I wasn’t able to experience myself in their presence. Now, I find myself taking a step back from those types of situations and observing the players (myself and the other person) and witnessing that person on their journey and extending feelings of love from myself outward. I have a commitment to myself to never cast a shadow over someone else’s sunlight. I’d rather extend it whenever possible.

Say Anything

If I could say anything, anything what would it be?
A good question for our destined reality
I would tell you that I love you
Even when it didn’t show.
I would tell you that I love you, baby,
By now I hope you know.

If you could go anywhere, anywhere what would you see?
Take a step in any direction, it’s make believe
If your mind is always moving
It’s hard to get your heart up off the ground
Yeah, your mind was always moving
But your thoughts never made a sound

And we won’t break if we let go.
You and I already know
We were bound to be set free eventually.
So, here we are now
You can say anything

If I could have it go any way, any way it’d go like this
Take it back to a couple years yesterday to our first kiss
In that moment I loved you,
This isn’t how I ever saw it going down.
In that moment I loved you,
I wish I knew then what I know now.

We won’t break if we let go.
You and I already know
We were bound to be set free eventually.
So, here we are now
You can say anything
You can say anything

You should you listen to your heart
(you should listen to you your heart)
It’s gonna tell you what you need
(it’s gonna tell you what you need)
Take care of yourself
(take care of yourself)
And don’t you worry about me
(don’t you worry about me)

You should you listen to your heart
(you should listen to you your heart)
It’s gonna tell you what you need
(it’s gonna tell you what you need)
Take care of yourself
(take care of yourself)
And don’t you worry about me
(don’t you worry about me)

We won’t break if we let go.
You and I already know
We were bound to be set free eventually.
Well, here we are now
You can say anything [x4]
Always say anything